Derek Jacobi and other stories - In the name of Thiago - Day 4

Well I’ve got to admit that the yoga shizzle last night wasn’t bad at all. I went into it with almost no expectations and left feeling very chilled indeed. The incantations were slightly weird and the bit at the end where everyone got a blanket reminded me of the end of the children’s programme In the Night Garden, where Igglepiggle gets his red blanket while Derek Jacobi, with mild concern in his voice, says “Who’s not in bed? Igglepiggle’s not in bed.” And to think for a certain generation, that’s what Derek Jacobi will be best known for. Anyway, I digress.

Back briefly to the yoga. I experienced the usual creaks that you get when you’ve not stretched properly for yonks but I managed to avoid any major embarrassing incidents and due to careful positioning next to a concrete pillar, also managed to stay on my feet for the trickier balancing manoeuvres.

I came home feeling as relaxed as I have in ages and slept so well. I’ve been sleeping ‘ok’ since Thiago died but last night was just bliss. And bliss isn’t a word I bandy around given what I’ve been through this last couple of months.

Today was the last day that my mum, Hilary and Angelica’s parents Edilberto and Marilena, stayed with us. Since Thiago died we have pretty much adopted an open door policy at our house. But tomorrow – admittedly only after I’ve dropped my mum off at the railway station – our home will be just lived in by Angelica, myself and Elisa. I should say that my Dad will be staying with us for a month from Friday so this situation will be very shortlived.

I’ve never really been that much of a family guy outside of the amazing relationship I have with my two special girls but I’ve loved having people around. It’s meant that I’ve not got too morose and had people around who really care about how I am. They do things like suggesting a walk or playing a game. It’s simple stuff and it really helps. I’ll be honest, there have been times where I’ve ended up sinking a few beers but I’ve not been doing it alone. And for that, I feel very lucky.

This actually brings me on to a key learning point for anyone who is grieving. Keep asking for help if you need it but act on it when it suits you, as no two people’s grief is the same. This is very relevant for Angelica and I, who have completely different personalities. In many ways it’s probably what’s kept us same.

Well that’s it from me today. I’m on the early Manchester airport run tomorrow – we’re leaving the house at 3am!