The gift of human kindness - In the name of Thiago - Day 18

In the name of Thiago

The gift of human kindness – In the name of Thiago – Day 18

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, once again today I was overwhelmed with the amazing gestures of people I work with, who want to help me raise money for the gorgeous little fella in the picture, (well that’s kind of what this is all about)! Through this enormous network of people that care and truly understand what it is to be compassionate, I have not only reached nearly 20% of my funding target, but also had colleagues offer all manner of ways they want to get involved and help me reach my £10,000 target.

I felt really, really low at the beginning of the week and to be honest my mood does fluctuate not so much from day to day, more like hour to hour, sometimes even minute to minute!

I’ve had a couple of moments today where I’ve broken down in tears, not majorly because I’m conscious of the need to hold it together in a working environment but enough to really tire me out. It’s pretty tough, no doubt about that. It feels like an achievement just to be at work, which might sound a bit lame but that is how it is, so you’ll have to trust me!

I’ve made this conscious effort to try and make it to a park during my working day. That task was made a darn sight easier today by a meeting I needed to be at being held in a park. This I could definitely get used to!

It all means that I’m learning a lot about the human condition at the moment, probably too fucking much frankly, but one thing that really does, is get me to think actively about my mental health. I give myself credit for a lot of positive changes I’ve made this year and for a bloke whose tendency is always to self-deprecate that’s quite a hard thing for me to write.

(random misty image, which for some reason made me think of John Wyndham's Day of the Triffids)

That terrific bloke Jamie Hickey, who I’ve mentioned on a couple of occasions already in this blog, sums it up best. You can’t do anything about yesterday and tomorrow’s too far away for you to worry about, so just deal with today, the here and now.

I am worried about tomorrow (sorry Jamie!) because I have to face up to a mistake I’ve made. I make a lot of mistakes at the moment but I’m not going to divulge the latest here because ultimately some things must remain off limits. Having said that, I’ll take care of that tomorrow and in the meantime try not to get too anxious and just hope I can get some sleep. Sleep is good, sleep is my friend.

Have fun all of you whatever you’re up to and if you’re struggling for something to do, don’t forget you can donate to my life affirming walk I’m doing to remember Thiago and to raise vital funds for our wonderful NHS. 


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