One step forward is followed by... - In the name of Thiago - Day 38
My poor old Dad has had another dip and I’m really struggling with this now, I’ll gladly admit. I really do feel for him as he’s clearly in a lot of pain but we’re fast running out of sensible options for how to help him, which we desperately want to do.
The medication we have for him should be helping him and it really was until this latest turn for the worse. It just seems that we’re in a constant flux of home to hospital to home to walk in centre and nothing really ever gets sorted.
I don’t know for how much longer we can carry on – it really is destroying our home environment. What I do know is that we can’t just sit back and hope that magically everything is going to improve. There have been far too many false starts now for that to be the case.
He was full of spirit and bravado yesterday and I was riding with him on the crest of that wave but as I said to him yesterday, I wanted to see a run of days of Dad being clearly in perfectly reasonable health before we left him to his own devices and that bird seems to have flown. For now at least.
My sister has said that she would be happy to have Dad stay with her for a little while but even that‘s going to be tricky as he doesn’t feel he needs someone to look out for him and in any case his car is still in Chester. Everything just seems so complicated.
And the problem that I’m finding now is that I just don’t seem to be very able to process the situation and react in an appropriate manner. Unless of course the appropriate manner is to upset Angelica, who is doing everything she can to help as I’ve written on many occasions in this blog.
I know that I am not doing well but equally I’m not sure what to do about it. However, I do know that I am tired and hungry so I ought to do something about that at least. This I can manage. Anything else just seems a little beyond me for the time being. I’m sure this will change but for now I can do no more than see out the day.
I really hope I can write something more positive tomorrow folks..