A Child of Mine - In the name of Thiago - Day 87

Thoroughly shattered today. Just completely overwhelmed by the enormity of my grief and everything else going on with this bloody virus.

I found it so very hard to go to the cemetery and the truth of the matter is that I probably wouldn’t have done that on Sunday had Angelica not put the idea forward. It was something that needed to happen though and I am glad that I did it but it has made me realise that this is all still extremely raw to me and I am finding it very hard to cope.

So with all of that in mind at lunch time today I made a call to ‘A Child of Mine’. They are a charity that supports bereaved parents and their founder is a lady called Gayle Routledge who herself lost a son, when he was just three.

It was very comforting to talk about Thiago with her. She was a great listener and discussing my feelings with someone who had been there and come through it all and made it out the other side made me think that no matter how shit things are right now, I will function properly at some point in the future!

So if you are reading this and perhaps struggling with the loss of a child, (I hope there aren’t too many of you!) then do get in touch with Gayle. She’s genuine, kind and will be there for you. It was an emotionally draining chat and has left me feeling just whacked but I am glad that I picked up the phone and chatted to her.

Then after I clocked off for the day at work a bit earlier than usual, I rang my mate Nigel and he said his approach to coronavirus was this: “I think of it as a tidal wave sweeping in towards us but with me on a surfboard right on the crest”. I thought ‘wow’ what a great way to address the way we find ourselves. Like the rest of us, Nigel thinks the situation is shit but he’s making sure that even though he’d rather be living a ‘normal’ life, he’s not going to let this bastard get the better of him. Good on you Nigel, I love it mate.

Ah they’re just playing Here Comes The Sun to close the drive time show on Five Live. Fuck I love that song. But now it’s time for yoga..

Success. I’ve just managed an hour’s worth before checking out and enjoyed the quiet satisfaction of knowing that two farts were enjoyed by me and me only. Phew!