This one goes out to the one I love - In the name of Thiago - Day 127
It seems a fairly obvious
thing to say but I’m quite sure that I wouldn’t have been able to manage nearly
as well as I have in this grieving process, had it not been for the strength of
one person: my wife Angelica.
The longest relationship
I’d had prior to meeting Angelica could be measured in months rather than years,
so I’m never anything other than amazed that she’s put up with me for the 15 years
we’ve been married. It feels as if nothing can break us now.
This feels particularly
pertinent today as I’m really getting a full appreciation of how the days have
a very different feel when Angelica is around compared to those when she isn’t.
I had pre-birthday blues on Friday and have post birthday blues today, nothing particularly
unusual about that I guess but yesterday was a brilliant day because Angelica
was around with me for all of it.
Like any couple, we’ve
had our huge ups and downs over the years, the biggest of them of course has
been how we managed to simply try to get by after Thiago was born. The truth of
the matter is that it wasn’t just his passing that was hard, though that was
the hardest time of all. Thiago’s life was a struggle too. He was in and out of
hospital fairly often and constantly having Angelica and I on red alert. Even
now, I find it hard to understand just how he managed to stay so positive. I’m
just grateful that he did.
This is the time I
have the most gratitude for Angelica being the rock in my life. As you may have
gathered by now, I am a pretty emotional sort of chap. My highs are very high and
my lows are very low, while Angelica’s professional background insists on
maintaining a constant sense of calm. I know that she didn’t want to burden me
with all the things she could see coming with our little man.
Her incredible selflessness
allowed me to really enjoy the precious few months I had with our son. Yes of
course I had my worries and concerns but Angelica’s approach meant that I
really did remain positive and never gave up on him. I don’t think I ever would
have done that of course, but Angelica gave me energy that I’m pretty sure I
would never have had otherwise.
She is simply an
extraordinary woman with the most phenomenal powers of resilience. Like me, she’s
completely devastated by the loss of our little man and life will never, I repeat
never be the same again.
But because she’s around,
maybe in the coming years I’ll feel a little better, get through the days with
something other than constant tears and the feeling of utter exhaustion. I
daresay Angelica’s encouragement will also be a big factor in me getting off my
arse again and starting to get back into training on the walking front. I’ve done
it before so I can do it again.
So this is all for
Angelica, what a truly remarkable woman she is.
Please remember what I’m
doing and why I’m doing it folks. I’m aiming to raise £10,000 for the two hospitals
where Thiago spent far too much time in his tragically short life – that’s
Royal Stoke University Hospital and Birmingham Children’s Hospital. Let’s reach
the target to help me leave a lasting legacy and to give me another boost as I prepare
physically and mentally to walk the 300 miles from Eastbourne to Stoke-on-Trent
this autumn. And now it’s over to Boris.
Angelica was a very young girl when I met her while visiting England and I so saw the potential she had and before I left to come back to Australia I encouraged her to study and I am so glad that she did, you have a wonderful wife and I know that you know that. Things will get better as time goes on but you have love.
ReplyDeleteShe's a good'un no question Debbie 😊
ReplyDeleteAngélica is such a extraordinary woman, she
ReplyDeletehave all my love and admiration! Be strong my dear friends you have each other always! Xx
Thank you Loren, I've never been in any doubt that I am a very lucky man.
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