Surely something happened? – In the name of Thiago – Day 194


I’ve had one of those days where no matter how I try to dress it up, nothing really happened. Angélica has been at work all day so there have been fewer opportunities than normal for arguing and she’s also working on one of the weekend days as well, so we may have to make better use of the time we do have for open and honest exchanges of views!


These quieter days give me more time for reflection and that’s not always a good thing. I’ve not been desperately sad today by any means but maybe this quiet day means I can devote a bit more time than normal to talk about my gorgeous little boy and the inspiration behind this blog’s name; Thiago.



I’ve not used that picture for a while and every time I do the tears start flowing immediately. I love it so much. I love it because of the amazing loving moment it reminds me of and the memory of just how loving a boy Thiago was, in spite of all the problems he had.


When I’m having a shit day – and today’s not been one of those – I look at this picture and it gives me a little hope. Yes, it shatters me knowing those moments will simply never happen again, but at least I had the experience. It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all I guess, so the saying goes.


Building work continues at the house. It’s steady. I suppose when you’re living in it, it never seems to move quickly enough but in fairness, after everything I’ve been through recently, I can’t really bring myself to give too much of a shit. Yes, it’s a lot of money to do what we are doing but however much we spend on home improvement and however good it ends up looking, my little man will never be around to see it and enjoy the space we’ll be living in.


There’s a certain irony in making all this extra space and us having gone back to being a three person family. Will I feel happy at the end of it all or will I just feel empty as I do so often.



You know what, I was perfectly fine before I started writing this blog and now I’m in a right tizwoz. I played tennis for an hour this evening. It was good, I was playing against a lot of guys who are much better than me – mind you, that could be said about most people who’ve ever picked up a bat – but it was a nice release after a day in the dust trap that is my house.


After tennis I had a lovely meal at my Dad’s. Elisa was with me as well and we had shakshouka, which depending on what you believe, has its origins in the middle east or Spain. My dad’s gone for Israel – he’s quite adamant. I know shit all about food other than eating it, so I wasn’t about to argue. It was bloody tasty, Dad’s food always is.


Well that’s all from me – just the usual request please. Donate what you can and let’s raise this £10,000 – with your help I know I can do this. The little man and I will be very grateful for your support.


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