There's something strangely surreal about watching yourself on television, especially surrounded by your wife, daughter and father. We were at my dad's this evening to celebrate his 68th birthday but we bunged Midlands Today on at 6.30, as is customary for many people I guess who live in the patch and waited to see how my interview with Nick Owen and the piece in general came across.
I know it's boring to keep saying this but watching the news tonight made me feel proud - there's no other way of putting it. I've done my level-headed best to ensure that as many people as possible know about my boy and just what a remarkable little chap he was. And it's like I said in the interview today, it really is all for Thiago - he's my driving force, the brave little boy who is helping me go from lightweight soft touch to strong-willed and determined. That is Thiago's legacy - and I'm going to keep going.
They used some lovely photos of the little man and I loved how they converted the studio backdrop for the segment with images of my walk and my very favourite photo with the two of us looking deeply into each other's eyes. That's real love right there. I'll never experience another love like it.
I took half an hour out of my working day this afternoon to record the interview and ended up with the added bonus of being sent a guide to framing the shot, which I know I'll be able to reuse in my own working life to make myself look intelligent at the same time!
This was me from Friday. Yes, before you ask, I realise that the mask has slipped down my face, perhaps it was the excitement and my exuberance at the enormity of the occasion. This was played out on a couple of the morning bulletins today and gave me a bit of a lift for the day; I've certainly needed that this week. The thing I've found more than anything with my grief is that it makes my mood swings even more pronounced than ever. I've always had the capacity to be a bit of a grump, of that there's no doubt - please don't ask Angelica to confirm this - but keeping an even keel is harder now than before.
Whatever I say one day is something that I may be a million miles from achieving or even approaching the next. Through the year, I've been able to keep up a sense of normality and essentially 'get my head down' whatever the fuck that means. That kind of annoys me too though. I don't want to just get my head down - what does that achieve? Fortune favours the brave or so they say. Maybe that's it - I just need to be a bit braver. It's not a bad character trait to have. I'm warbling.
Angelica produced this work of art for Dad's birthday. It was very, very sweet and full of lots of things that were no good for any of us. Dad's eyes lit up when he saw it. An opportunity to get even fatter is never something that the old man's going to miss out on. He's starting to look like Mr fucking Creosote now. No Dad, you can't have a 'waf(f)er thin mint', I actually think you might explode.
He even cracked open a bottle of champagne to celebrate the occasion too this evening. He loves the stuff. I've sometimes had in the past, let's say, an interesting relationship with alcohol, but I've never been all that fussed about the bubbly stuff. It just doesn't agree with me. But I wasn't going to turn down the offer of a glass of it at the old man's gaff tonight.
This is the shot they used of me this evening. I managed to shoehorn the charity T-shirt in there (thank you Rob - they've truly had some tremendous use and exposure!) and made sure the photos of my two beautiful children were on display. If this fundraiser was a campaign at work it would be the best campaign that anyone had ever run but this is far more important than that, which is why of course people want to know about it.
I'm going to keep my fundraiser open for a few more weeks, while I decide what the best course of action is. That might be getting involved with another event, who knows. So, do please keep bunging in a few quid if you can. Tonight's appearance on Midlands Today has certainly resulted in a few more donations, which has certainly put a smile on my face. Let's hope I can keep it there for a little while.
You were extremely dignified and articulate during the interview and l was impressed with Nick Owen who was very kind and respectful
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