Making the most of every day - In the name of Thiago - Day 290

 

I was warned about the aftermath. It was never going to take a genius to establish that the days following the end of the walk would be tough. Nothing is likely to get close to the feeling that I had on Friday again. Now that's not to say that I yearn for that, but it is to say that now that I know what I can achieve, I'm not going to be so timid about striking out to achieve it. The world is my lobster.

For the time being, I'm just quietly going about my business trying to get my ideas to be reality and pushing a few things here and there. Following through and completing the walk - and frankly apart from the blisters doing so with a bit to spare - has really given me the lift in my confidence that I so desperately needed. I'll be using this experience as a way of saying: just look what I can do, as although I'm very much an extrovert, some of my maverick behaviour has been a bit of a cover for the lack of self-esteem and confidence that I've suffered from most of my life. This is going to change.


Angelica has chosen some heather plants to place next to the little man at Keele Cemetery. Seeing a dash of colour always makes me smile. The idea with the flowers was to bring about a mixture of Brazil and Britain, though to be fair I was less fussed about the British element. I just saw the green, yellow and blue of my good lady's homeland and thought what's the red for?

Tomorrow evening, you'll be able to see me on Midlands Today and actually in the morning too. Nick Owen is going to speak to me about the walk. It was all a bit unexpected actually. I recorded a Zoom interview on Friday immediately after all the celebrations and thought that they were going to play that out on the day. 

The programme called me back to say that they were going to hold it over though until tomorrow and do this follow up interview as well. So I'm being granted two bites of the cherry.


At the end of the day, it's creating even more of a legacy for my little hero and you never know, maybe a few donations might come towards the fundraiser as a result. 

It's a slightly strange place to be, the space I'm in at the moment. Although my walk is over, I'm keeping the fundraiser open as the occasional donation still seems to be coming. There is a huge gap though, where something special used to be. The walk gave me something to be happy about as well as a focus. Now that big fucking dark cloud of emptiness is back. 

You see, while everyone else can just get on with their lives, for me to do that is so much more difficult. Others are not so consumed by such dreadful moments of darkness. But if nothing else, I am a resolute man. This amazing thing that I have just accomplished will spur me on to do more remarkable things. This much I know.





Comments

  1. Hi Chris. Keep going, mate, you're doing an amazing job. Thiago will be so proud of his old man. All the best, Max

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Max, I hope so.
    All I ever wanted is to make him happy. Christ alive, it's so difficult.

    ReplyDelete

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