From little acorns... - In the name of Thiago - Day 318

Now, as many of you will already have observed over the course of the year, visits to the cemetery are not something I tend to relish. I do feel so terribly conflicted about them. I know that I need to and part of me wants to go to say hello to my little man of course - the little man I miss like no other. But going there makes me feel utterly shit afterwards.

Not so today. Angelica and I met a lady there this afternoon to figure out where we could plant the oak tree that my sister Holly gave me last year and we have a solution.

It's sort of somewhere in that space, which is plenty good enough for me. For quite some time Angelica and I had managed not to decide what to do with the tree. It's a sapling - I think that's the right word anyway - at the moment and it's potted and lives in the garden. The ironic thing of course is that, as was the case with Thiago, I'll never live to see it flourish.

But it did make me happy to see the joy on the lady's face when she explained what would happen with the tree and the little plaque that would go with it. In a hundred years or so the Thiago tree will sit proudly on that landscape. I like to think it will be a beacon of hope to all that see it, all those who shelter from the harsh winters or take shade beneath it in warmer climes. That'll be my boy folks - providing love and kindness long beyond his time. 

As we were already there, naturally we popped along to see the little fella. He's looking very well today, bless him. The ground staff at the cemetery have laid down some soil on his grave now, and we had a little tidy up as well while we were there.

I do find it so hard to stay for very long and for some unfathomable reason, I always manage to forget to bring any tissues. The only time I remembered was on the day of the funeral. And the wind was whipping up today. It wasn't cold but it was properly cutting across us as we fought the elements and our emotions.

Angelica is on the phone to my aunty Diane at the moment. Diane, bless her, never forgets us and knows that we have a very tough time coming up with the anniversary of Thiago's passing, so this was a lovely delivery to receive this morning. I'm very grateful for everyone that has us in their thoughts, it does make a difference. That's a lot of people I can pick up the phone to, if I need to hear some comforting words. 

We were down in Cornwall in February to see Diane and my uncle Harry. I really enjoyed the time we spent with them. Harry can be a tricky customer to get used to but somewhere within that harsh Mancunian exterior, there's a heart of gold. Just don't tell him I said that, he'd fucking kill me.

Right folks, I'm cutting it short tonight, there's dinner to be had - yep the one time I have a chance of getting some sensible conversation out of her ladyship. One can at least try..

There won't be many more chances to donate to the cause now but if you can, please do. Bless you all.