The time is coming - In the name of Thiago - Day 322
I'm not looking forward to next week. People are being very supportive towards myself and Angelica, which is a very touching thing to experience but of course in many ways it serves to bring into full view the day as it approaches.
The day I'm referring to of course, is the anniversary of the day I lost my little boy. It will be on Saturday. As I've said on many occasions here before, every day is tearful and touched with a rawness of pain that many people reading this, I hope, will only ever experience on very rare occasions.
The cards and the flowers are lovely gestures but gees, it's so hard. I really don't know what else to say. I'm happier for receiving these gifts and knowing that people are thinking not only of Angelica and me but of course the little hero himself. But as soon as I read the cards, though the messages are thoughtful and full of kindness, they always just make me cry.
I'm debating whether to take the day off on Friday, so at least I'm rested going into the day. As a thank you from the executive leadership team of the council, staff have been informed that they are entitled to three days' leave additional to our normal allowance. It's been a tough year (no laughing at the back)for frontline workers in the public sector, probably one of the hardest ones on record) but this news still came as a surprise. So, I'm thinking that I might take advantage of this by being kind to myself and taking a couple of these days before Christmas, especially as the festive season will be an absolute crock of shit.
In a rare treat, and I am calling it that, Elisa decided that she wanted to watch Frozen with me this morning. This may come as a surprise to you on two counts. Elisa wanting to do something with her Dad and her being up before lunchtime. I have now just about recovered from the shock. Naturally, she refused the offer of a snuggle on the sofa with a blanket and sat instead straining her neck and shoulders to see the screen instead from the Grandad chair. I'm calling it that now as it's the only piece of furniture that the old man will park on when he's here.
Now if you thought, like me, that Disney offers nothing for the cynical old slightly grumpy dad, well you should take another look at this box office hit from 2013. My favourite line is when Anna insists that Kristoff takes her up the north mountain. I'm unable to report whether he thought that all his Chirstmasses had come at once. And all this after 'ex squeeze me baking powder' in Wayne's World last night. Film nights/afternoons with Elisa really aren't all that bad!
Here's a photo that I don't think I've ever used on the blog before. It came a day before his second heart surgery and I think shows the incredible courage that he always showed. He always makes me so proud.
And here's one I'm so glad I've stumbled on again. Ooh what a good looking lad he was, and so casually handsome too. I love the whole one hand on a knee and another on his thigh. A casual pose which carries so much and will stay with me.
Well this has ended up becoming something of a ramble, so it's probably not such a bad idea for me to call it a night. And besides I've become tired quite suddenly as happens fairly often these days. Night all and rest well before whatever next week throws up. I shall try to do just that.