Thiago Day - In the name of Thiago - Day 328


I'm settling down to write this at 4pm, as truthfully I have no great expectation to be much use to anyone this evening. And that ladies and gents, I think is perfectly fine.

I'd been hoping that the worst part of this week would have been over before today but the truth is, that it has absolutely smashed me to pieces. But the other thing today has done, is show me how incredibly well-loved my family is. Today has been a seemingly never-ending procession of gifts as Angelica's work colleagues in particular, have shown such incredible compassion and extraordinary kindness.

We've been sent two videos today as well, both of which have had me clutching for the Kleenex - I should have shares in the fucking stuff! Angelica has a special close group of nursing friends Kathryn, April, Niki, Mica and Hollie, who sent us one of the videos and the other was so touching as well.

This was the scene this morning from the breakfast table after we'd polished off the oatcakes of course - grief causes all manner of human reactions, which can easily be explained but there are standards to be maintained and that means the continuation of polishing off Staffordshire's finest on a Saturday morning! 

The messages of support were extraordinary and significant in number. One message kept being repeated - you are a remarkable family. I actually stopped to think about that for a while today and you know what, I think I agree! And here's where I want to pay a special tribute to my amazing wife Angelica. The reason that so many of you are reading this today and have been supporting in whatever way you can is down to her indomitable spirit. That spirit came shining through in the little man too.

When Thiago was born, we knew we were in for a battle - the cards were not stacked in his favour. And yet Angelica refused to let that deter her from giving the little man the best opportunity to enjoy life to the absolute maximum. He certainly did that, and it was because of this that I drew my own inspiration.

There it is written on his headstone - 'Our little ray of sunshine'. His strength of character, his refusal to be dejected, down or defeated was so extraordinary. It means the words can flow for me, it means that people want to mark a life well-lived, it means that forever there will be a little piece of Thiago in all those that were lucky enough to meet the little fella. 

His passing causes me the most horrendous pain, terrible terrible suffering but it doesn't change one complete truth - I'm so happy and privileged to have had this remarkable little fella in my life. Thiago my darling, you have saved me from a life of mediocrity. Every step I take now, you will have led me. You're a hero. 

It was tough going today at the cemetery but it was a really good thing to do; I'm glad I was there. The little man's grave looks as bright and beautiful as it ever has as I'm sure you'd agree, and placing the plaque next to our Thiago tree felt really powerful. The tears, the pain, but then so importantly the pride has been coursing through me today and that pride was never more powerful than when Angelica and I stood side by side in the very spot where his tree is planted. 

In hundreds of years from now, this could be what our Thiago tree looks like. My wonderful friend Nigel sat beneath this tree today making his personal toast to my little man and when he shared this image with me today, I felt hope. It's important to acknowledge that there is plenty of despair and utter unforgiving despondency that I feel most days but when I saw this mighty oak tree with its branches symbolically reaching out to provide support and shelter, it comforted me to know that my powerful little boy will one day show the same strength and support to many people at the cemetery and at a time when people will most need it. 

His strength, his resilience, his joy, his remarkable spirit shines on and no-one will ever be able to take that away from him or from me.   

And so a year has passed, a year has been survived and a year of wonderful legacy for the little fella, who changed my life forever has been created. That will never stop, my drive to honour his name is unceasing. Without Thiago there would never have been the walk we need another £75 to reach the £23,000 mark by the way folks (nudge, nudge you know it makes sense), my life would have just rumbled on uneventfully, there would never have been this blog, which I hope has kept you all entertained for nigh on a year. there would never have been an outlet for these powerful moments of reflection. So tonight please raise a glass, say a prayer, light a candle, whatever you want to do -  for today is all about the most remarkable boy that I have ever known - Thiago Frederick Leite Gibbs. 


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