Time management, tiredness and Thiago - In the name of Thiago - Day 303

Why don't I like Mondays? Oh yes that's it, it's because they're always shit. Ok I'll excuse Bank Holiday Mondays, as they're a might fine thing but the start of the week is always a challenge. At the best of times they're a challenge, but of course as we surge towards the desperate times of lockdown 2, these things tend to be magnified.

I have been struggling of late. My mental health has not been the best again and home life is a test, but not because of the people around me. I am very lucky to have an incredibly supportive wife and a daughter, who broadly speaking just leaves me alone. 

For the first time though I think I've been knocked back a bit by knowing what's coming with the lockdown. This time there'll be no glorious sunshine, there's also no walk to look forward to. Before, I always had in my mind that there was something really positive to focus on. Now my focus is on an unfortunate health issue I have, which I will not dwell on further here.

The good lady has been busy again today. Angelica is one of those people that finds relaxing quite difficult. Getting her to eat, take breaks and be kind to herself is problematic shall we say. So today she's been sanding a door. She's been going about it steadily and not staying on her feet for too long as she's still recovering from a knee injury but her natural inclination is always to keep going. I call her the Duracell bunny for good reason. 

From the door, she moved on to the chairs, which are a lovely turtle green colour now. Elisa didn't seem all that impressed but then Elisa rarely seems all that impressed, particularly by anything her parents do. At least her disinterest in parental efforts extends to the maternal side as well!

Her ladyship actually came and woke us both up at 6.53am. The disappointment in her voice that neither of us had got up at that point was almost comical. People reckon I don't have a filter - they want to meet this little lady. She takes airing total disgust to a different level altogether.

This is my work station for what will probably be the next six months. We're always encouraged to take regular breaks. Maybe it's me and my poor time management but it always seems to be the case that I've either got lots of time or none at all. More recently, it certainly tends to be the latter. 

Tiredness is setting in again. My attitude to tiredness is very similar to how I once would have been about yearning for another drink - these days I rarely have a drop during the week. It's with a tinge of regret. Why do I feel so horrendously tired? Well there's a lot going on I guess. Work is busy - it's hard to imagine that I was away for a whole month, the way I've slipped back in to it. The anniversary of Thiago's passing is approaching and that makes me feel empty. Empty and extremely sad.

I'm going to see what I can rescue from the remainder of the evening; I'm not making any promises! If you feel the inclination, please be my guest.


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