What a difference a child makes - In the name of Thiago - Day 304
Of course, my pain and torment has been a very public matter this year, which broadly speaking, I think, has been a very good thing. Put it this way, it really seems that it's done me far more harm than good. People are able to talk to me and relate to my experiences both good and bad, happy and sad.
The other thing that this period of reflection has encouraged me to do, is to think about my beautiful daughter Elisa and the relationship I have with her. It has been somewhat strained in more recent times but these things are relative. Losing a child makes the relationship that you have with the surviving child complex I would say.
It's strange. Elisa and I have never really spoken about her brother. I tried speaking about Thiago a couple of times but it was clear that it wasn't going to work and though it hurts me, I understand that it's not the right time for her and I respect that. I can still remember the day after he died and seeing Elisa and all her friends at the end of the school path. 'Is he better now?' one of her little friends asked. I'm not fucking sure how I held it together to be honest.