What a difference a child makes - In the name of Thiago - Day 304
I had a wonderful message from my dear friend Jamie today, which really got me thinking. It was a private message so I'm not go into specifics here but it went along the lines of 'however down, however despondent you might be feeling or however difficult you might be finding things when you compare yourself to others... ultimately you only know your pain. That is to say that you have no idea what others might be going through or hiding. So I'm not going to compare myself to anyone else today. And I'll be a lot more mindful about that going forward.
Of course, my pain and torment has been a very public matter this year, which broadly speaking, I think, has been a very good thing. Put it this way, it really seems that it's done me far more harm than good. People are able to talk to me and relate to my experiences both good and bad, happy and sad.
The other thing that this period of reflection has encouraged me to do, is to think about my beautiful daughter Elisa and the relationship I have with her. It has been somewhat strained in more recent times but these things are relative. Losing a child makes the relationship that you have with the surviving child complex I would say.
It's strange. Elisa and I have never really spoken about her brother. I tried speaking about Thiago a couple of times but it was clear that it wasn't going to work and though it hurts me, I understand that it's not the right time for her and I respect that. I can still remember the day after he died and seeing Elisa and all her friends at the end of the school path. 'Is he better now?' one of her little friends asked. I'm not fucking sure how I held it together to be honest.
Chris, you are an amazing role model to Elissa, you have shown her how to be honest, you have taught her that it's ok for men to cry and you have taught her how to love massively and unconditionally. I'm learning that children are a work in progress and boy are they hard work! Keep up the hard work and always tell her that you love her and that you're proud of her. We are so proud of you xxxxx
ReplyDeleteI do all of those things Kathy, possibly even more so now. Thank you for your kind words 😍 p.s. on a similar theme I think you might enjoy my latest blog 😀
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