Getting through the pain - In the name of Thiago - Day 1

You know how it is. The kids are going back to school, work has reared its ugly bastard head and you start to think what am I doing?

Well if there’s one thing that the death of your child does: it’s focus the mind. My name is Chris, I’m married to a wonderful lady called Angelica and have a beautiful daughter called Elisa, who has just turned 11. But I’m also fat and worse than being fat, I’m feeling fat and frankly I’ve been doing very little to alleviate the weight gain for quite a while.

But you know what, I’m going to give myself a break because my beautiful boy Thiago (the gorgeous lad in the picture) died at the end of November and we only buried him a week before Christmas. He was a week shy of being ten months old when he checked out and ever since, I’ve been an absolute fucking mess. Every day is racked with emotional pain. I start the day crying, I end it crying and in between well you can probably work it out.

So I thought to myself, what can I constructively do to try and make something good of a thoroughly shitty situation? I know, I’ll do a 250 mile walk in my son’s memory and raise a truckload of cash for the two hospitals that gave him so much wonderful care in the short time he had with us.

Great idea Chris.

Except that after a recent session with a sports masseuse friend of mine in Eastbourne it’s now obvious that not only do I need to get the ‘miles in the legs’ I also need to do some fairly serious corrective work on my horrendous posture. He was actually amazed that I was able to walk. After an hour on his treatment table with him smashing the fuck out of me last week, I very nearly wasn’t!

But it was undoubtedly what I needed. A proper full on wake-up call. I’m no athlete, I hate running and more than that I hate the cheeriness of healthy people. The only real exercise I like is to be found with a tennis racquet but that’s been getting too infrequent of late and I’ve been kidding myself that it’s ok. Well it’s not and I want to change.

Thiago’s short life was an amazing example of how a life should be lived. That little fella, despite all the rough hands he was dealt, fought bravely and defiantly. I want to be more like him. This might sound weird, but he was my hero.


  1. I’m crying with you reading this, I to lost a child and the pain is unreal, your blogs are so true to the feelings.. its amazing what your doing, I’m wishing you all the best and can’t wait to continue to follow your story ��

  2. Thank you for reading my blog Jodie and please accept my deepest condolences for your loss as well. Writing this gives me an outlet for my feelings but I hope it can also help others too. No-one should ever have to do it alone. Although I am broken, I am also lucky to have such kind people supporting me. I just want to do something positive now!

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