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Showing posts from May, 2020

Sometimes it all just clicks - In the name of Thiago - Day 148

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Well stone the crows if the old man and I haven’t just gone and got on like a bloody house on fire today. It’s fair to say that these last few days have been a test of endurance – essentially how much of him can I take before I lose my shit. Well the bond strengthened today and with him going off on his travels tomorrow – admittedly still with Angelica – to buy more furniture, he is getting close to achieving independence. And with his independence of course, comes the return of my sanity.
One person who has never remotely come close to getting frustrated with living with the old man is Elisa. Dad seems fascinated by Elisa’s ability to hold court at the dinner table and while she appreciates that he understands virtually nothing at all about the world she inhabits, she finds the fact that he exists at all, quite fascinating.


Dad, Elisa and Angelica are due to visit IKEA tomorrow to complete the purchase of the remaining furniture he needs for his bungalow. It might be that this doesn’t …

A maximum high – In the name of Thiago – Day 147

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Now it might be that like York’s finest Shed Seven, that I reached my maximum high in April 1996 (today is blog number 147 in case you were wondering about the reference) but suddenly I do feel that I have a lot to give. That said, when I reached the halfway point at The Blue Bell in Kidsgrove this morning at shortly after half nine on my 15 mile trundle, it didn’t feel that my legs did.
I had a reasonably deep conversation with one of my very best friends Jamie Hickey this morning as I was completing the final mile of my 15 miler this morning. Jamie really helps me to understand my grief, and both yesterday and today it has hit me like a fucking freight train, that’s for sure.


Part of the huge sadness I have felt came about from discovering a poster-sized image of Thiago under the sofa bed yesterday. But it’s just as much about the emotional complexity that separates what I cannot enjoy as a father with Thiago and what I’ve probably never had with my own father, who, as you know, is st…

Start as you mean to go on - In the name of Thiago - Day 146

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Conversations between Angelica, Dad and I were remarkably civil this morning. Dad even helped out by putting the curtains back up, which he accidentally dismantled in trying to draw them last night. He felt really guilty bless him and I made sure that I took full advantage of it. Nah just kidding, I think it had a lot more to do with me getting my foot caught in the bottom of them just after I signed off work for the day yesterday.
But the old man popped them back up after we’d established that he felt safe to stand on the chair as we don’t have a stepladder. It’s been a mixed sort of day and I’m writing this in two parts. This is the pre-tennis match part of the blog as I shall be taking on Leo at 6.30.


I nipped out to Aldi at lunch time, fuck a duck that was a pretty terrible idea as you can probably tell from the image above. I just about managed to get there and back in an hour but it wasn’t a whole lot of fun. The big difference I’ve noticed between the preserve of the middle class…

After you Claude – In the name of Thiago – Day 145

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After a couple of days of helping my Dad move things into his new house, it was with some degree of contentedness that I had a break and went back to work today. It’s funny, I understand that a lot of people take annual leave in order to relax and just get away from life’s problems. It seems to be the opposite way round for me at the moment.
I just feel agitated. It started yesterday and it’s continued and got much worse today. It seems to me that Dad is veering towards depression, worry and anxiety at many different touchpoints. Thank some greater being then, that Angelica has come riding in to the rescue once more.


She took Dad to The Range today to help him buy bedding and other household items. The old man simply doesn’t seem to know what’s going on half the time and is relying completely on us to get him set up. He is 67. I think it’s more important than ever that he does start to get settled into his new place, as it will force him to start doing things for himself. I feel a mixtu…