And then there was one – In the name of Thiago – Day 151

What I’m learning about my grief is that I need to be as kind to myself as possible. It’s too much if I keep putting myself through the mill. Yesterday was an absolute bitch of a day for my grief. I’m asking myself today whether that Zoom meeting was what I needed at that time – it was certainly overwhelming. But it was an experience, and it helped me in a way that is quite hard for me to express. For now, I move on.

I’ve had plenty of time to reflect today. And that’s because I’ve been alone for the first time in months. Dad moved into his place on Monday, Elisa went back to school yesterday, and then Angelica returned to work after a couple of days off today. It really felt strange. It won’t be quiet here for long that’s for sure, as we’ve just had confirmation that the building work on our extension will start a week on Monday. Chaos will soon return, just in a slightly different way than before.

With only myself for company, the delivery of a new recycling bin and bag was probably the most exciting thing to happen to me until a fresh development, (more on that later) shortly before 5pm. Well I say exciting, clearly it’s horrendously dull but what can I say. It can’t all be milk and honey readers.

It looks like from now on I won’t be separating my recycling, putting the onus back on the council to do that part as religiously as I have been. I won’t say anything else on that front other than I simply hope for the best.

It feels like a day where there’s been a line drawn in the sand. Dad’s moved, Elisa’s back to school, the weather’s turned and I’m starting my personal battle to get back to my normal (admittedly not very high in the first place) level of fitness. My knee is troubling me and I’m experiencing some muscle pain, but I’m going to do an hour of yoga tomorrow before taking to the tennis court. I simply have to get walking again though. That is my absolute priority, there’s no doubt about that.

Well I may not be needing these for a little while. The change in the weather has resulted in one also being made to my day to day routine. My recent working days have involved half an hour sat outdoors having a spot of lunch, while reading a chapter of a novel. There is a corrugated cover to the side of the house where the chairs are now, so if I do still get desperate for fresh air, I guess I’ve still got somewhere to go without getting pissed on from a great height.

Just before I sat down to watch the latest update from Downing Street, I noticed that I’d had a tweet from International Decorative Surfaces (IDS) – the local company that I’ve been hoping to talk to about going into a sponsorship arrangement. And for this I have a certain Saffron Swansborough to thank, as she helped to keep the momentum going with my request for help over the weekend. Let’s see where it takes us.

It can’t be easy for businesses at the moment and respect to them for publicly asking me to get in touch. After emailing IDS the details of my walking and fundraising plans, I sat down to watch Boris’ update tonight. I didn’t find him quite so bloody annoying this evening until a cringeworthy and completely unnecessary insistence on his part to make a throwaway remark to Marco, an Italian journalist, in the correspondent’s native tongue.

I just don’t crave the news any more. I haven’t bought a paper in ages, the radio is on but I am selective about when, and the television rarely sees an outing either. So much for being glued to the box during lockdown – it simply hasn’t worked out that way. Well it’s time for me to sign off but not before, like IDS, I ask you to show an interest in donating to the cause. Come on now, don’t be shy!


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