Stop being a dick - In the name of Thiago - Day 159


I have laughed a lot today. I’ve spent the last ten minutes trying to compose myself and every time I feel like I’m ready to get going, I start fucking pissing myself again. I just can’t stop. If you search ‘laughing Dutchman’ and check out Huug Bosse bless him, you’ll get an idea of where I was at earlier. And in truth, I haven’t quite left there yet.


It started with a conversation I had with Angélica earlier in the kitchen today about my Dad, not normally a well rich with opportunities to be belly laughing. Angélica was almost in shock at the speed that Dad responded to a text message that she’d sent him yesterday.


About a couple of months ago Dad swore blind that he wouldn’t be using text messaging. Nope, he said he would continue to ring people if he needed something or maybe send a fucking pigeon. Either way, modern technology was not to be embraced. Well yesterday, not only did he text, but he replied in an instant.


To be fair, Angélica is a notoriously slow and sporadic communicator so an instant may actually have been an hour. But let’s go with an instant for the sake of a good story. The really surprising element about this instant response, was the tone of Dad’s message. ‘Thanks for giving me the heads up that you’re coming over’. This is real progress.



Previously this communication would have been a lengthy missive along the lines of: ‘Angelica, I’m extremely grateful for the advance notification of your intention to make the short journey across the city I now reside in to meet me at my humble abode. I shall be sure to be ready to greet you at a time convenient to your good self. Would it be possible to furnish me with an approximation of your estimated time of arrival?’ To which of course, the appropriate answer should be, ‘no, fuck off’.


The rich seam of entertainment continued into the latter part of the day as a friend of mine shared with me some extracts from text conversations taken during some video conference calls he’d been on. It made me think about that human urge you get to dick around rather than sit through painful meetings. This is one of the greatest dangers of working remotely I believe and something that is a challenge too far for me to avoid altogether. Let’s just say that distraction comes easily. Bet you’re paralysed with shock right!



I did some yoga tonight, though I probably didn’t need to, as I was still creased up from earlier in the day – look at the lack of control on that face. Beautiful ain’t it! Classes are an hour, though I only ever tend to manage 40 minutes. As long as I’m nicely stretched, I’m not too bothered about all the lying down with a blanket shit that happens at the end. I’d never get back up.


The other thing I want to report tonight is a generous gesture made by Elisa‘s school. The headteacher emailed me today to say that the PTFA (not the predominantly tyrannical football association as I can’t help but read it) would be making a donation of £100 to my charitable cause, which I think is a lovely thing to do.


I’ve not always seen eye to eye with the head but I must say that the school has coped extremely well with everything this fecking virus has thrown at them and it really is a blessing for Elisa to be back at school with her mates. She certainly doesn’t want to be anywhere near me right now, that’s for sure!


If, like Elisa’s headteacher, you’d like to make a donation, then this is the place to do so. I’m off to read my book for a bit.


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